April 12th, 2277
Dear Lucy,
Happy 25th birthday! I miss you! It's amazing how long we have survived out here. I wish I could be with you today. It's been 3 months since you left, but it feels like years. These days are just a blur. I wish you luck with your new job in Megaton. It was a good opportunity for you and I hope one day soon we can all be together again like when we were kids.Nothing has changed here. King stands outside just waiting for "them" to come back, but he knows as well as I do that they only come at night. By then he's locked up inside if his house.. quivering like a scared little mouse. He's no "sheriff" to this town.. Or what's left of it anyway. After you left, others followed. I don't know if they were just afraid of waiting here to die or actually had somewhere to go. Mom and dad aren't leaving anytime soon. They're waiting for you to come home just like I am. Other than us, it's just Karen Schenzy, Evan King and the Ewers. We must be one of the smallest settlements in the Wasteland. Which is probably why no one even cares about helping us.. even after all the radio broadcasts we try to send out.
Love, Ian
May 3rd 2277
Dear Lucy,
Thank you for your kind words. You always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Yes, my hunger has been making life difficult lately. It's hard to distract myself without you here, but I'm trying my best..
The gang came back last night. Mom was crying and dad just sat with a shotgun pointed at our door for hours. They never try breaking down our barriers though, thank God. They just scream at us, throw bottles and break things to get our attention. It's working. Karen wants to take a stand. I know she could be a better leader for us then that spineless wimp, King. But we don't know what we're up against. I feel like I could take care of them if I had the chance.. but what would everyone think of me? Oh, Lucy. You're the only one who wouldn't think I'm a monster..including myself.
Love, Ian
May 20th, 2277
Dear Lucy,
I'm so glad that you are happy there. Be careful and remember that I am rooting for you to make a good life for yourself in a safer place. I want to see you as soon as I can. .
Remember how we used to skip rocks by the river? That was so much fun, and I think about our childhood together often. Mom and Dad say they miss you. Dad always did like you best.
I went to visit the Ewers today. Just to check up on them.. Ken is still rude and Brailee has gone mental.
She just stares off into the distance smiling and babbling about how green the grass is and how she should bring up issues at the next counsel meeting.. I think being locked up inside the house has made her stir crazy.. completely forgetting about the war and lost in her own imaginary world.. She makes great muffins, though.
Ken, always being such a charmer, keeps complaining about how he doesn't want to sit in this town with his thumb up his ass any longer, but I don't think he actually has the balls to do anything about it. He really gets on my nerves.. I don't even know what Brailee sees in him.. But at this point, I don't know if Brailee is even there with us anymore.
Love Ian
June 11th 2277
Dear Lucy,
It was getting bad today.. I went down the overpass to a traveling caravan.. just to buy some food and a new knife.. and then suddenly, all I could think about was him dead on the ground bleeding the sweet red nectar I yearn for. His flesh still warm and tender.. I'm so hungry. It's like each person I pass has a different smell that's appealing in some way. I've been trying the exercises we used to do together.. sitting down, deep breaths and clearing my head. It's so hard to stay focused, though. and it's been so long since I've tasted it. I need you here. Please come back, sister. I don't know what I'm capable of. I want the gang to come back.. just so I can... just once.. that's all I want..
Pray for me..
Love, Ian
July 5th 2277
Dear Lucy
I don't even know if you're getting my letters anymore, but I feel comfort in writing to you, so I will continue anyway..
There was another gang attack last night. and this one was brutal. They ran through our street yelling and banging on our doors. Then I heard the cries of our towns livestock down by the river. I ran outside and all of the brahmin were dead. torn apart and bloody. It was gruesome. But no one was around. It was likethey just disappeared.. Nothing human could possibly run that fast..
Love Ian
Dear Lucy
I've lost track of what day it is.. I'm so hungry and everything is hazy to me. I'm dizzy and I can't sleep. I've been rocking myself back and forth for days.. just thinking of anything but the urge to feast upon the next settler that comes in range.. I don't know how much sanity or patience I have left. Mother thinks I'm sick and wants to take me to a doctor, but dad won't hear it. "She's not risking her life for you!" he says before he hits me. I really can't take much more of this. No one will take me seriously here.. I tried talking to Evan King about it. Saying I was feeling ill and I want to head to Megaton. But he refuses to take me or even give me direction. "a 15 year old boy is no match for The Wasteland" he says.. So I'm stuck in this hell just waiting to die at this point.. It's getting harder to write lately. I love you, but I really need some guidance right now.
Love, Ian
Dear Lucy,
Why haven't you been writing back? I've sent you three letters and no reply yet! Lucy! Please! I need you! 5 years ago when it first happened you promised you'd always be there for me. You left and some days I get so mad at you for abandoning me! As my older sister, you should protect me.I can't talk to anyone about this.. No one will understand. Anyone else would just kill me, I tried leaving last night for Megaton to visit you, but father wouldn't let me. He started yelling about how I would worry mom. We fought for a while until he started hitting me. He hasn't beat me in weeks, so it caught me by surprise. I hate him and I hate being stuck in this terrible "town" with people that don't care about me. I want to go live with you.
Please reply soon.
Love, Ian
Oh my god, Lucy.. Lucy.. I did something fucking terrible.. Oh god, I'm so sorry. He was hurting me again.. and I couldn't.. I just.. The hunger.. it over powered me! I couldn't take it! With every strike to my back it seemed easier for me to do it. How could I do this? It smelled so good and.. I blacked out.. I don't even remember how it started. I couldn't stop it..and... mom got in the way! I don't know.. I ... I need to run. This is the last letter you'll get from me for a while. I love you so much and I can't bear this guilt much longer. There's something inside me. if there is a God, he is cruel.. there was so much blood..I'm no better than those super mutant freaks! I'm a monster.
Please stay safe for me, Lucy. You're all I have.
Love always, Ian
August 20th, 2277
Dear Lucy
This is more like a diary entry, just because I'm not allowed to contact anyone right now. Vance says I'm in a fragile state and I need to remain in meditation. So much has happened in the past month. Vance says I can send my letters to you as soon and I'm finished with my meditation. Maybe I can even go see you!
I don't remember how I got here. The last clear memory I have is my last night in Arefu. After what I did to mom and dad.. I couldn't even look at myself. I was just rocking back and forth in front of their mangled bodies for what seemed like days. screaming hysterics and wishing for my own death. I wanted to taste more of their flesh but something stopped me.. Then, like angels, Vance and Holly knocked on my door. He said he represented The Family and that he was in the area checking out what had happened to the Brahmin. Apparently that was a nonsensical move from his people which he needed to clean up.
He was very civilized and polite to me.. He explained that what I was feeling wasn't so terrible and that there are more people like me.
I watched Holly drink the remaining blood from our parents' necks and wrote their symbol on the wall.. just to take the blame from me. then he offered me redemption. go with him to a place called "Meresti".. (the name originates from some town in Romania. but it's actually underground near a train station.) He said they can prove that I'm not the "monster" that other wastelanders would claim me to be.. That I would belong.
And there I can be part of a Family.
August 30th, 2277
Dearest Lucy,
When will I be free from this isolation they keep me in? I'm only allowed out when Vance is giving a speech. He says I need to learn The Laws of The Family. There are five and they seem to take them VERY seriously..
The First Law: "Feast not on the flesh: consume only the blood. This is our strength."
"We do not eat the flesh of those we kill for food. We will only drink of their blood and leave the body intact. The consumption of flesh is filthy and unclean. This action is what causes the humans to treat us like animals. We are not animals, we are The Family."
The Second Law: "Bear not the child: welcome only the exile. This is our fate."
"Because we carry the stain of our past in our bodies, we can never let it pass to our offspring who would in turn carry out our foul actions beginning the cycle anew. The Family must seek the Wasteland for others of its kind in order to maintain itself. That is our fate."
The Third Law: "Feed not for pleasure: Partake only to nourish. This is our dignity."
"We only kill the humans when we are hungry or when we must defend ourselves, we never hunt for sport or pleasure. We do not prey on children for they are not yet tainted by society's view on us. The Family will not tolerate murder."
The Fourth Law: "Seek not the sun's light: embrace only the shadows. This is our refuge."
"Because we are creatures of the night, we must not set foot in daylight. We move silently across the ground only under the watchful eye of the moon above. At the rising run, we must seek the embrace of the shadows and never again gaze at its brilliance. The Family seeks the dark as its refuge."
The Fifth Law: "Kill not our kindred: slay only the enemy. This is our justice."
"Above all, no member of The Family will ever take the life of another member without the consent of the current leader. Anyone disobeying this action, the most heinous of all our crimes, will be exiled from this place forever. We must not let our own inner demons cause us to fight amongst ourselves. We number only in the few, and we cannot risk extinction."
They recite these laws verbatim every day.. almost like chanting. Was I captured into some sort of cult? But then why would they be so nice to me..
I'm starting to think they aren't really human. I mean.. I know I am.. but It just doesn't sound right. I don't understand what all of this means. It's so much to take in and I'm starting to think they're..
no.. that's crazy. This is life.. not a fairytale.
September 10th 2277
Vampires.. I can't believe it. Though Vance will never admit they are, it all makes sense. Yet it's so unethical.
Is there a chance that vampires aren't just in stories? These people don't turn into bats.. and they bear a reflection..so, maybe they're just people like us..? Feared monsters.. not vicious animals with cannibalistic traits.. I don't know. I need to clear my head.
Vance says he's expecting a visitor for me soon. It's so weird.. it's like he has a sixth sense for people.. Like, how did he know I was in that house looking at my dead parents.. needing a sign.. anything to help me get through what I had done..?
He's a good man and he wants me to stay here. I'll be protected and never ridiculed for my "hunger".. But I need to see you, my sister.. Wait! Maybe you're the visitor. Maybe he sent my letter! Oh Lucy! How I've missed you. I need to get ready for your arrival.
September 22nd 2277
Dear Lucy,
The visitor was a lonely wastelander named Ellynn. Apparently you sent her to find me.. She gave me your letter. You seem worried and I can imagine why. My last message sent to you was vague and I understand your concern. At first, Vance refused to let me talk to her in fear that she would convince me to leave the safety of The Family.. But after I saw your letter my decision was already made. I'm going out to find you immediately.
I asked Ellynn to accompany me back to Megaton, but she said she had business at Tenpenny Tower to attend to. It's alright. I'm not afraid of the Wasteland anymore. I will find you and everything will be alright. Vance was skeptical at first, but in the end, supportive of my decision. And if I need to come back, I have a place with The Family. He gave me the password in case I come back.. "Vespertilio".
Anyway, I'm very excited to see you, I love you, and hopefully I don't get too lost trying to find your town.
Love always,
Ian
Dear Lucy.
I'm so sorry I failed you..I couldn't get there in time. I had no idea.. really. I had heard that there was a bomb in the middle of your town, but I thought it had been deactivated. From the distance I thought it could have been somewhere else, but as I got closer, I saw pieces of metal all over the ground.. signs from a bar, and a supply store.. then I started to smell the smoke and burned flesh from the explosion.. I knew it was Megaton, I just didn't want to believe it.
Oh, God Lucy. I can't believe after all this time.. I could have already been there..for you..I could have saved you if I hadn't been locked up in that cell. Yes.. This is all Vance's fault. I was going to leave for Megaton..There was nothing left for me in Arefu.. but he captured me.. Sure, I was a emotional wreck, but that would have helped me in the Wastes.. I know you're watching me write these letters from heaven. You belong there.
You will not die in vain.. you will be avenged, Lucy. I promise you.
-Ian
October 5th 2277
Dear Lucy,
apparently Ellynn made some sort of agreement with Vance.. a trade of the towns blood packs for protection from Raiders and other vile creatures threatening Arefu. This couldn't be more perfect.. I'll finally be able to seek my revenge on him. I'll tell King that I can deliver the blood packs to them on the night they come to check up on things. I wonder if his blood is sweeter than a normal humans. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I have this.. itch. I haven't really felt the hunger much up until this point. My emotions must help trigger it somehow.My heart is beating faster and my mouth is watering.. I don't know, but I think I'm actually... excited about this.. Killing.. No, I can't say that.. I'm no monster.
I think I'll pray tonight.
Love, Ian
October 13th 2277
Dear Lucy,
I made a terrible mistake..
While I was waiting for Vance behind a dismantled car, I heard footsteps coming from behind me. I thought I was well hidden, but my plan was flawed. I heard a voice and turned around quickly. Before I could even recollect what was happening, she was dead on the ground.. bleeding pro'fusely from the neck. I killed Holly. She didn't do anything wrong.. This wasn't her fault.
I stood up.. blood was dripping down from my teeth onto my shirt. Vance was there.. both appalled and mortified. He knocked me out and I woke up in here.. back in the isolation cell of The Family. I have no idea what he's going to do to me. He doesn't seem like a hostile man, but I did just murder his wife.. Even though it was an accident, I realize it was originally for my own selfish reasons..
"We must not let our inner demons cause us to fight amongst ourselves.."
I'm sorry, Lucy.
Love, Ian
October 31st 2277
Dear Lucy,
This will be my last letter. My new friends say that writing to you is no way to deal with my loss.
After I got exiled from The Family, I started heading South. Eventually I ran across this quiet little town called Andale. The families here are very sweet. The Smiths and the Wilsons. They're letting me stay here in their spare bedroom. We were up all night talking about how important it is to stay alive out here and stick together.. And that "bringing home the bacon" is a priority for all of them. I even told them about my past "habit", and they didn't run or threaten me! They were kind and actually UNDERSTOOD my hunger! They said they're preparing a huge dinner tonight and it's "right up my alley" whatever that means! Maybe they have a sixth sense for vampires, too!. They really seem like a distinguished bunch of people, and they're all doing very well for themselves. They look clean and they always have lots of food! I told them all about you and they said that tonight, I'll finally be able to find peace. That sounds wonderful.
I miss you, Lucy and I'll never forget you..
much love, Ian
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